Him, again


Salam everyone,

I feel like writing today

I overjoyed when I saw him walking through the main door yesterday. The most beloved man on earth that I always wanted to be with. I haven’t seen him for almost a week. He was away from home to perform his duty somewhere in Japan. I remembered that I talked and played around with him until late night. We went off to bed. And that very night, I got an instinct that it will be my very last time to be with him. Eventually, on that night itself, I’ve dreamed that I was at a playground and playing on the swing and he was there accompanying me with the most beautiful smile that I could not forget till today.

I woke up early the next day because he did reminded me before bed, that we’re heading to the hospital to see “his other half” giving birth and of course a new friend of mine at home. I can’t wait. I woke up and I don’t even disturb him coz I knew that he will be very tired due to a long flight journey yesterday. I took a bath with my house helper and my other two siblings were preparing themselves for school. Right after I dressed up, I straight away ran to the master bedroom to wake him up and to tell him that, I’m done! I called him a few times and even whispered to him. But there is no respond. I was on top of him and keep tapping his chest. And there’s still no respond at all. I felt something bad. I ran of from the room and looked after my house helper to tell them about him. I’m clueless.

And after a few hours, the only thing that I knew is that my house was pack of guests. I even saw his colleagues and staff came as well which they stared at me and gave me one kind of look. On the other sides, I felt so happy because I saw all my uncles, aunts, wan, atuk and all the cousins. But I did not realize what was actually happened until I saw “his other half” walked inside the house accompanied by her doctor and grab me. She cried and brought me to him. She asked me to kiss on his forehead gently. I was so puzzled and asked his other half, “why on earth they dressed him up like that?” That was the last time I saw him live. And Allah s.w.t did replaced him with a new baby girls in the family within a day.

All the memories were recorded 24 years back. And at that time, I was only 4 years old and I was amazed on how I could remembered everything that happened at that time and i hope that it would not faded away from my memories. I thanked The Almighty God, Allah s.w.t. for that.

That was the only reason why I did not celebrate Father’s Day. Al-Fatihah to him, My Ayah. And Mama, you are the best and the most strongest person i’ve ever seen!

* I wrote this last 2 years (and some of you might have read this before) and it is specially dedicated to Him. And again, i miss him so badly!

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Simply me,
Zara~AB
The Province of Chroma

14 thoughts on “Him, again

  1. ouwhh..alfatihah.

    me myself tak pernah kenal ayah. dia meninggal masa i dlm perut mak, 8 bulan. sebulan je lagi nak tgk dunia, tp dia dah pergi dulu. tak sempat nk tgk anak bongsu dia ni. tp..tu semua kerja Allah..kan.

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  2. alfatihah… at least u still have part of ur memories with him. unlike me.. only by photos. i was too young to remember it!

    semoga roh2 bapa kita semua tenang di sana… insyaallah..

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  3. zara7696 says:

    Cak – Al-Fatihah to ur arwah ayah as well! Never tot that we’re in the same shoes. Mak Cak are one of the strongest woman on earth kan?
    Qimie – Al-Fatihah to ur arwah ayah as well Qimie. Insyaallah. And i really dont get ppl who;s neglecting their parents around.

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  4. hey hey haven’t heard from u in a while. too deep in love until forgetting to update ur blog huh? anyways, yup doa anak2 is part of amalan yg berterusan dinikmati by our parents, that’s the least we could comparing to those they sacrifices to us😀

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  5. zara7696 says:

    Fiziskandarz – Ya, been bz down here with work. Tp takder la that too deep in love sampai i lupa nak update blog. Naughty u! Yeap, doa anak-anak are the best. I definitely agreed with all ur words dear!

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  6. ::: salam zara pekabar.. al-fatihah to your father. im so sorry about your father. for the moment it puzzled me who is ‘him’ actually. then at the end it was your father. touching. there’re alot of people around you, support you no matter what; friends, family or maybe husband. make yourself happy all the time & give back to them as your father did to you, will make memories last forever & bring everyone to ‘smile’ again.

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  7. misznorul says:

    al-fatihah to ur beloved dad sis..eventhough i have dad, but d memory with him and d best of all is during childhood. because he is not exist currently..busy manage the other part of his life maybe.. sigh

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  8. zara7696 says:

    Ecah – Ya, then you should appreciate him as he is still there.
    Reactivate – Thanks! Very much agreed with you.
    Jamie – Sorry for making u crying in the office. Hehehe. Ya, alfatihah to others as well.
    FarEast – Travel? Ermm, due to certain reason, should be ok kot.
    Misznorul – Hopefully u r in a very best condition.

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  9. byk kan bersabar ok … ur mom and ur family sgt tabah mengharungi semua ni … kuatkan semangat … terus kuat kan … al-fatihah buat arwah ayah yang tercinta … semoga dia ditempatkan dikalangan yang beriman …

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