I feel like writing today
I overjoyed when I saw him walking through the main door yesterday. The most beloved man on earth that I always wanted to be with. I haven’t seen him for almost a week. He was away from home to perform his duty somewhere in Japan. I remembered that I talked and played around with him until late night. We went off to bed. And that very night, I got an instinct that it will be my very last time to be with him. Eventually, on that night itself, I’ve dreamed that I was at a playground and playing on the swing and he was there accompanying me with the most beautiful smile that I could not forget till today.
I woke up early the next day because he did reminded me before bed, that we’re heading to the hospital to see “his other half” giving birth and of course a new friend of mine at home. I can’t wait. I woke up and I don’t even disturb him coz I knew that he will be very tired due to a long flight journey yesterday. I took a bath with my house helper and my other two siblings were preparing themselves for school. Right after I dressed up, I straight away ran to the master bedroom to wake him up and to tell him that, I’m done! I called him a few times and even whispered to him. But there is no respond. I was on top of him and keep tapping his chest. And there’s still no respond at all. I felt something bad. I ran of from the room and looked after my house helper to tell them about him. I’m clueless.
And after a few hours, the only thing that I knew is that my house was pack of guests. I even saw his colleagues and staff came as well which they stared at me and gave me one kind of look. On the other sides, I felt so happy because I saw all my uncles, aunts, wan, atuk and all the cousins. But I did not realize what was actually happened until I saw “his other half” walked inside the house accompanied by her doctor and grab me. She cried and brought me to him. She asked me to kiss on his forehead gently. I was so puzzled and asked his other half, “why on earth they dressed him up like that?” That was the last time I saw him live. And Allah s.w.t did replaced him with a new baby girls in the family within a day.
All the memories were recorded 24 years back. And at that time, I was only 4 years old and I was amazed on how I could remembered everything that happened at that time and i hope that it would not faded away from my memories. I thanked The Almighty God, Allah s.w.t. for that.
That was the only reason why I did not celebrate Father’s Day. Al-Fatihah to him, My Ayah. And Mama, you are the best and the most strongest person i’ve ever seen!
* I wrote this last 2 years (and some of you might have read this before) and it is specially dedicated to Him. And again, i miss him so badly!
The Province of Chroma